I am not easy to love

Author: Alex Myles

I know that I am a lot for some. I’m a restless force of unusual love and my beating heart rips through my veins.
I am also aware that my heart causes havoc; it shoots rainbow colored threads that tangle and knot in mischievously messy ways.

I’m not easy to love, apparently.
I remember it well, you said, it was because I feel “much too much.”
And sometimes, I guess, people can’t cope with “feeling” people. They don’t understand those who love skin, bone, and soul deep.
I get it, sort of.
But, please don’t tell others they are much “too much” and please, please don’t say it in a way that will make them feel as though they are wrong for owning a heart that bleeds.
I can take your harsh condemnations. I have gotten somewhat used to it.
However, once there was a time when comments like yours made me wrap up my too muchness so that I could hide it far from the rest of the world. I became afraid to tell people who mattered how I felt. I scared them by unleashing love.
But now I understand, some people want smaller, gentler, whispers of love. Not everyone loves like I do.
So, although your bite didn’t sting too much, there are others out there who will take your words and they will believe them to be true. They will desensitize themselves and shrink-wrap their comet-like heart to try to please you and believe me they will suffocate in their denial of love.
It isn’t wrong to expose raw vulnerabilities.
It’s not shameful to love hearts without limit and to accept and embrace them in an instant.
It doesn’t make a person weak or damaged or crazy, it’s courageous and brave to love this way.
It isn’t desperate when someone shows their cards and plays it straight instead of trying to gain advantage with tricks and mind games.
Nor does it mean they are a loose cannon frantically bolstering towards an altar in an attempt to commit to you for life.
Quite the opposite in fact.
This chaotic kind of love will never attempt to bind or tie.
For this type of love, that you possibly have never known, is as graceful as a river, although, it is free so it can also be fierce and fearless too.
At times there are harmless but breathtaking wild storms raging within it. The tornadoes and rain will flood riverbanks and cause the water to taste unknown land.
Just because you don’t feel equipped to hold that much love in your hands, if it appears again, try not to just dismiss it, lose yourself in it temporarily and adventure out and explore.
Those infinitely loving people with hearts that you think are too big, you see, they belong to nothing and no one. There is no need to be afraid. They ask for nothing and will offer you everything.
My Dear “almost love,” please understand, hearts that love without reason will never contain themselves. Nor will they try. They ache too much more when they are kept all locked safe on the inside. They will eventually crack and crumble and their love will eventually somehow spill out.
So, whatever you do, please don’t lock up hearts just because you don’t love to love in a “too much” kind of way. Throw away your heart-locking key.

If you don’t want an extraordinary, breathless, unforgettable love, then that’s okay; you can look, walk or run far away. Instead find someone who already layers their ribcage with indestructible bulletproof shields.
Maybe you will say they are not enough, or they might love the right amount, or you may even tell them they are still too much.
Or maybe, if it isn’t love, they will be “too much” something else.
You found my love undesirable and for a million or more reasons, I found you desirable. However, I desire to love this way so much more than the desires I had for you.
I have spent way too much of my lifetime tragically covering and masking my “too much” heart so that other people didn’t notice or feel the strength of my love.
Not any more.
I’m not sorry that I loved your petrified heart far “too much.”
I have not one regret.
I love everyone I meet that way. I just don’t know how else I’m supposed to love.
My heart spoke a language that you just couldn’t, and wouldn’t try, to understand.
Although, occasionally, in the midst of a star lit night, I wonder…
When you said you couldn’t love me…
Was it really that you thought that I felt “too much”?
Or was it simply because you didn’t feel enough?
Either way, whenever my heart is full to the brim with all this love, I smile to myself and think: “What a beautiful existence and what a way to be remembered, as the girl who was cast aside and unloved by you, when all she offered you was “too much” love.
We didn’t quite, but very nearly loved, each other.

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Here’s to the girls with messy hair and thirsty hearts

Here’s to the girls with messy hair and thirsty hearts – Morgan Hunt

We don’t feel apprehensive without makeup
We let our skin breathe
In fact, we would rather be naked

We know our scars and stretch marks define us
And if you throw us a cat call from your car window
Our first instinct is to give you the middle finger

We don’t bleach our hair
Or use machines to tan our skin
We rely on the sun to work its magic on our bodies

We have hobbies
We believe everything we do is an art form
We sing, paint, read and write
We let our fingers callus from our instruments, and then we admire the texture
We embrace our inner ruggedness, and make it appear feminine
We don’t hide indoors from the earthly elements
We embrace them
Letting fire warm our bodies down to our souls
We let the wind dry our hair after soaking in the rain
We jump in puddles
We sit by campfires until the smoke burns our eyes
And we enjoy the smell of our smoke stained clothes
We enjoy smoke. Some of us find it symbolic
We lay under the stars not just to admire the beauty of them
But also to recognize that we are made of them.
We drink whiskey from wine glasses and wine from the bottle
We tell dirty jokes
But we are not prejudiced
Our hearts are not made of gold
But of steel and soil because we are strong and grounded
We wear our hearts on our sleeves
We use metaphors to describe our feelings
And we are damn proud that we feel with such enthusiasm
We are intuitive, borderline psychics
Our libidos and emotions are connected
And when we fall in love, the earth shakes

We don’t allow others to protect us
But when we do, it’s an extraordinary bond
A union with its own definition
If we find one toxic, we cut them out without question

We are empowered by women alike.

Motherroots

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I would prefer to sit on top of a mountain than in front of a television. I feel connected to all organic matter and believe all life is purposeful and deserving of respect. I stand up for those who do not have a voice and protect the defenseless. My compassion and love for this earth and the life on it on it is as deep as the ocean. I feel more comfortable in nature than anywhere man made. I believe every life form has an energy which can be felt and seen. I feel everything is connected and depends on one another. I believe the Earth gets ill, grows, feels pain and happiness just as humans do. My favorite sound is waves crashing on the shore and I love seeing the way the moon kisses the water at night. All animals no matter how scary or small have my respect and love. I am an equal to all living beings, my worth is as valuable as anything else’s. I am MotherRoots. K M Cooper #motherroots #kmcooper

Wanderlust or Wanderlost

Just because I wander does not mean I am lost, right? Can someone just like to wander?  I find clarity being in nature. Hiking to the peak of a mountain, trekking to a hidden waterfall and exploring new terrain gives me perspective on what really matters in my day to day life. Or am I just searching for something I am longing for and lack in my day to day life. Maybe its both. FullSizeRender(14)

Death

Noosh-

words can not express my condolences. i wish i could take your pain away. losing someone is always hard but losing a parent is something different. you lost your mentor, protector, security, confidant, friend and unconditional love. your father raised three boys on his own and both you and your brother turned out to be amazing men. may he rest in peace and be reunited with your brother. i know the loss of your brother weighted heavy on your fathers heart and now they can be together again. your father was a great man, i respected him and enjoyed our conversations in the living room over hookah discussing life, love and politics. until you see him again in that next place. all my love.

To the next President

This letter from Albert Einstein to his daughter explains exactly what we need to make this world a better place. It saddens me to see all the hate in the world today and all the fear propaganda our leaders in government use to gain power. LOVE is the key…read it slowly and let the words sink in 🙏🏻

When I proposed the theory of relativity, very few understood me, and what I will reveal now to transmit to mankind will also collide with the misunderstanding and prejudice in the world.

I ask you to guard the letters as long as necessary, years, decades, until society is advanced enough to accept what I will explain below.

There is an extremely powerful force that, so far, science has not found a formal explanation to. It is a force that includes and governs all others, and is even behind any phenomenon operating in the universe and has not yet been identified by us. This universal force is LOVE.

When scientists looked for a unified theory of the universe they forgot the most powerful unseen force. Love is Light, that enlightens those who give and receive it. Love is gravity, because it makes some people feel attracted to others. Love is power, because it multiplies the best we have, and allows humanity not to be extinguished in their blind selfishness. Love unfolds and reveals. For love we live and die. Love is God and God is Love.

This force explains everything and gives meaning to life. This is the variable that we have ignored for too long, maybe because we are afraid of love because it is the only energy in the universe that man has not learned to drive at will.

To give visibility to love, I made a simple substitution in my most famous equation. If instead of E = mc2, we accept that the energy to heal the world can be obtained through love multiplied by the speed of light squared, we arrive at the conclusion that love is the most powerful force there is, because it has no limits.

After the failure of humanity in the use and control of the other forces of the universe that have turned against us, it is urgent that we nourish ourselves with another kind of energy…

If we want our species to survive, if we are to find meaning in life, if we want to save the world and every sentient being that inhabits it, love is the one and only answer.

Perhaps we are not yet ready to make a bomb of love, a device powerful enough to entirely destroy the hate, selfishness and greed that devastate the planet.

However, each individual carries within them a small but powerful generator of love whose energy is waiting to be released.

When we learn to give and receive this universal energy, dear Lieserl, we will have affirmed that love conquers all, is able to transcend everything and anything, because love is the quintessence of life.

I deeply regret not having been able to express what is in my heart, which has quietly beaten for you all my life. Maybe it’s too late to apologize, but as time is relative, I need to tell you that I love you and thanks to you I have reached the ultimate answer! “.

Your father,
Albert Einstein